Friday, October 4, 2013

Commitment

I want everything to fit.

This might be the single hardest part of life for me. I need for everything to fit. Square pegs in triangular holes bug the crap out of me. Life should be like a cascade of harmonic cadences, not necessarily a perfectly arranged set of dominoes, but at least an artfully crafted Rube Goldberg machine.

So when you have a series of square pegs attempting to slide into holes whose shapes range from circles to stars to the outline of Nebraska, I get a little... nervous.

Right now, the holes are still square-shaped... but it's a decidedly tight fit.  I'm currently on my way riding standby flights from Denver to Phoenix, where I will have to work at two in the afternoon Arizona Time.

Meanwhile, Angela, Felix, the puppies, and most everything we own save a few bare necessities remain here in Denver.  Waiting for me to catch up.

I've been reluctant to mention much about this... but this is where we are right now.  Ang and I will be living apart for a little while, she with her parents and I with my thoughts.  The reason for this is two-fold: money (or lack thereof) and the need for extra help with Felix. I'll be living in a studio apartment for the next few months, significantly cheaper than we'd been paying, while attempting to work extra hours at the airport as much as possible.

Rest assured of two things: first, Ang and I are in a wonderful place in our relationship, so there's no reason to be concerned about how this will affect us there.  This is a mutual decision; we're going into this together, if physically apart.

And second, this is by no means intended to be a prolonged arrangement.  I've been told that a position should be opening up in the Denver airport for Delta Airlines on the ramp within the next month.  At that time, I'll put in for it, and once we go through the process, I'll be moving up to Denver as well.  It shouldn't be longer than a couple months' time.

One silver lining: I work in the airline industry. Therefore, so long as there are flights available, I can fly up to visit on my days off.

(Oh. Wonderful. Because of the snow, we've been delayed an hour for deicing. An hour.  Because of snow. On October 4th. Definitely missing my second flight.)

Well, anyway. I guess that's all for now. I reiterate: it's going to be a very hard couple of months. But it should only be a couple months. We will get through this okay.

Square pegs can be carved in the shape of Nebraska, I believe.

- jdb

3 comments:

  1. That is really tough... I wish life didn't require that of your family right now but I'm glad you have the choice of a solution, however creative that choice may be!
    On a lighter note, I definitely thought, "why didn't he just use Colorado-shaped space since he's talking about Denver." Then I pictured the state of Colorado. I now understand why you chose lumpy Nebraska instead. Hehe.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Heh. Originally I had Namibia as the odd-shaped hole, but I thought that might sound a little weird at the end when I tied it back to the beginning, so I went with something a little closer. Darn colorado with its ridiculously simple shape, ruining my analogy...

      Delete
  2. Joel -- That sounds so not-fun. But if it has to be, I'm so glad Angela can be with her family, and I know if you and Ang work together you can make it anywhere.

    Please give Angela and Felix hugs from me next time you're there!

    ~the other Angela

    ReplyDelete